Thu, July 27, 2006
It is unlike anything else to create movement out of sound. I stand before the fire, feeling the drums deep in my joints, driving my muscles to move. I link the drums to my heart, and begin to move so that there is no separation between the skin being struck and the skin on my hips in the air. If I go deep enough, far enough... move as the drummer moves, using intuition to feel when s/he would strike next, to create a perfect meld between sound and movement. I will stay there, hours and hours on end without tiring- for this is directly connected to the spiritual force that drives me- and I dance until I am parched with thirst and must force myself to stop. Not from exhaustion, never that.... dancing until there is no one else there at all, the world has disappeared, there is only the fire, the movement and the music.
This connection is especially exhilirating when an innovative drummer begins who can step outside the beat and take me where I need to go, to places I could not expect. This is the true challenge, this is what makes my heart pound and blood race. I focus on this drum, this person driving me on and on and I calm my inner voices, still my mind and create that space where there is only the drum, only the movement; where is the beat going, where is the hand going... what a beautiful and spiritual place to be, to really hear the drum, to really listen, deep down into the heart and the hips. Rooted yet flying, grounded and free.
At this year's Starwood, I connected more deeply than ever before to my dancing. I feel as if I have fully embraced the beauty and power that has always lain inside me, and I feel incredibly nourished and whole for it. Some people leave Starwood feeling bereft and lost, as if they can only obtain the feelings that occur while they are in that undoubtedly magical place; I, however, carry this magic inside and am deeply satisfied to have gotten to know this part of myself so well.
This year's Starwood was for me. To push myself and find those parts of my magic that I knew were lying so close to the surface... and it feels like I met some old, old friends and took them home with me to stay. There was certainly some amazing music happening at Starwood this year, and some amazing connections at least for me to the music. I am incredibly grateful to all the people who were a part of this growth; Starwood would not exist if it were not for the graceful souls who migrate there year after year.
I danced from the heart. I danced my heart out, as they say, and I mean that truly. I have never felt so whole and so at peace with myself as I have since then; it has not faded, nor will it, for I feel it to be something that is a part of me, something I have discovered and will nourish- the deep love of the dance, in more than just for dancing. In dancing for love, love of self, love of community, love of the spirit that drives us all together.