Stuck on the Train Tracks!

Fri, December 21, 2007
This sort of thing only happens to me, I swear. My life is a crazy jumble of misadventures... I truly, truly am the Queen of Chaos. This really happened, so sit back, laugh and enjoy.

It was cold when I stepped out of the house; I left a little earlier, sick of being late for morning rounds because I had so many patients to care for. Blearily I got into my car and started my short, one mile drive.

It was slushy, so I decided to go up to the light rather than through my usual shortcut (which is poorly plowed). As I got towards the light I saw a short little road that seemed to lead to the main road and avoid the light- a 15 foot shortcut! Wow, I wonder who plowed that? Well, fuck it, I'm taking it.

Uh, yeah.

I got about 7 feet in and was hopelessly, thorougly wedged. It was not plowed, it was an illusion. Oh, but it gets worse. I get out of the car to try and dislodge it myself (ha!) and suddenly I realize I have a clear line of sight... down... THE TRAIN TRACKS.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I tried to take a shortcut down the tracks that run through downtown Grafton. Brilliant.
Fucking brilliant.

Now, this is a tiny factory train that runs twice daily and goes about 5 MPH. But it's still a TRAIN!!!

So the guy that lives next to this particular stretch is watching me pace and curse; he tried to help me but it was hopeless- train tracks are slippery on the best of days.

I called AAA. They were panicked that I was stuck on tracks ("no, you don't understand, it goes 5 MPH, please just get me out of here"). They called Grafton Police for me to try to get me a truck sooner.

Here's the kicker.

THE COPS NEVER CAME.

Hello???

someone is STUCK ON TRAIN TRACKS and they don't bother to show??? I mean, there's no crime here, someone speeds about once per month. what the fuck were they doing all morning?

It took two hours for a truck to come and get me. Meanwhile I was shaking, stressed, freaked out... hopelessly, horribly late on a day I was to be on time...

this shit only happens to me.

They called me Nell at school (who Dick Dastardly tied to the tracks) and I will never hear the end of it.