The Ant Wars

Mon, August 7, 2006
So I was sitting down for a little snack after moving into my new apartment... you know, shuffling things here and there, unpacking boxes, where does it all go? All that. Anyways, despite my good eating habits I have one junk food weakness...

Cheez Its.

I can't help it.

So anyways, I was sitting happily eating some cheezits when I suddenly felt a little creepy crawly. I had the teensiest red ant you could possibly imagine (I mean, really really tiny) crawling on my knee. No biggie.

Then I suddenly realized after about 30 seconds that I was CRAWLING with them. Not even joking! Now, I'm not a really sqeamish girl (earwigs heartily excepted). Spiders, caterpillars, whatever... they don't bother me. But discovering that you have in fact become a super highway for tiny red ants? Not so much. Yeah. I stood up and wiggled a lot, and believe me that was interesting- it was one of those 100 degree days we were having a few days ago- I was sweaty and salty and they LIKE that, so they were not interested in leaving!

OOOoooooo!

I had the crawlies for an hour after that.

SO I had to sadly toss out the crackers. I went to the cabinet and boy oh boy did they ever move in. So I took out all the opened goods; most went into the fridge.. the cans can stay.

Here's the dilemma. I can't kill them. I mean, they were all right there, I coulda whooped a can of Lysol on their butts- but I didnt'. I... well... I can't. I read when I was a kid that ants are fairies in disguise, or reincarnated fairies or something... enough that the guilt is immense when it comes to ants.

What the HELL do I do??? I need cabinet space! I am a cook for goddess sakes! I have flour, and honey! And cheezits! And it even says on there GET YOUR OWN BOX!!! That means YOU little red buggers!

I have heard cinnamon... garlic... cayenne... but applied how? Do they die, or just give up in defeat? Or grow a taste for spicy foods then? Ugh. I dunno. But I do know I am going to find another home for the next box of crackers until I learn a way to cope.