Sunday, November 15, 2009

Maltitol = Horrible GI upset

Mon, October 9, 2006
Not for the faint of heart...

Yeah so someone did something 'nice' for me: gave me a tub of 'sugar free' caramel.
You know, microwave it and dip apples in it.
MMmmmmm!!! Stuff I haven't touched in, well, a long time.
Never had sugar free...

Ok so I try to eat naturally, you know, stay away from too much processed crap.
(cheez its are my weakness. Hey, some people smoke; I eat cheez its, ok?)
But... caramel... ooooo... couldn't resist.

Well now I'm friggin paying. Paying good.
First my belly groaned, a terrible, deep, streching rubber sound...
uh oh, this is NOT going to be good...
then the pain began. And the bloat.
Hey, now I know what a horse in colic feels like! Fun! Happy happy joy joy!!

Then... oh, then... the worst part...
the caramel came out the back end, largely unchanged... I think... well, the consistency was right at any rate.

Hey I told you this was not for the faint of heart, eh?

Anyways, I have been reminded of what a damn good sprinter I am. Oh yes... the 50 yard toilet dash. Wheeeeeee!

Good goddess... that caramel is going in the garbage.
I will never ever eat maltitol ever ever again. Who knew?

I think I would have been better off if the package said:
"Eat at your own risk... explosive diarrhea may result.
Or, at the very least, don't leave the house"


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